this is see you later, i'm not into goodbyes

as the year is winding down it's finally starting to hit me that i have less than 10 days left with this year's senior class. after graduation i probably won't see the majority of them ever again unless i randomly run into one of them somewhere later in life. my brother is graduating this year and even though my parents insist on him trying to live at home i know he isn't going to. yes, it would make more sense for him to live at home and continue to go about life as if nothing was different but i know that he won't make it through more than a semester living at home. there is already tension between him and my parents over things like curfew and such and i know that college will only intensify these feelings.



growing up ray and i never really got along the best. we argued and fought more than we got along. as we both grew up we started to become closer. i wouldn't go so far to say that he and i are friends, i don't think he would ever acknowledge me at school if i didn't say something to him first, but we get along. as strange as it sounds, we always do the reader's digest vocabulary together. it's just what we do. i've lived with him for my whole life and i'm thinking that our days left together are limited and this saddens me. we're family and i want to see him more than at our family gatherings.

i guess you could say that i'm afraid of change. i happen to like my life the way it is and i don't really want things to change. next year it's going to be just me and nolan. i don't like nolan. his xbox obsession annoys me to no end and i hate how his friends have changed him from the loveable kid he once was to this rude, disrepectful teenager he is now. he and i used to get along so well and now all we do is argue, mostly over him living on his xbox.

recently, i have found that i'm not good with goodbyes. I don't like goodbyes because goodbye means forever, little tidbit from peter pan for ya. my last goodbye left me in tears and that was over a month ago. in a few short weeks i'm going to be saying my goodbyes to the senior class. i'm not extremely close to anyone there, i only talk to them daily at school. they will go off onto their next adventures and my friends and i will take their places next year.